Around the School

 

Gas <3

Jake's comfortable without socks on Bigg's couch during lunch

Kristine sleeps in Prosser's with my gum in her hair

  

It's hard to see the desk ninja. ;]

Lifehouse Skit

I heart Charisse

Change

"Screw your future."

I know I deserve it so maybe that's why my sobs aren't as loud. I have never have felt as such a bad daughter as this moment, the moment when my parents tell me that they're disappointed in me and that they don't care anymore. 

Never have I felt as such a failure.

I have always had a problem with waiting too long. I am always lazy. These things cause me to miss out on being the best of me, just like the girls in the book my mom read.

I always blamed it on my personality saying, "That's how I am," but that's not the truth. I have been lying to myself this whole time. It is up to me, it is my choices that cause me to do what I do. 

That's why today is the day when I will promise myself to change. No matter how hard it is I will change. And if I don't, well, screw it, I'll try again and I will change. This new chapter in my life will no doubt have many stumbles but I must persist. My will will do what it I will it to, but in order for that to happen, my mindset will change.

It will be hard but I'm glad Lent is starting on Wednesday. This Lent is going to push me to change. Maybe doing things for my parents can be easy to shrug off, but doing things as Christ will force me to make things work. 

So, here I go, making my family first, stop putting things off, and starting being the person I want to be.

I'll make a retreat post later, when my mind knows it I won't stray away. 

Ok, here goes. I feel like typing it down will make it more permanent. In addition to being a better person, starting Wednesday there will be:

• No Meat 
• No Internet
• Obvious exception is for school work
• Email is ok for non-pleasure. This way it won't be too hard. 
• Blogging is ok but no looking at my dashboard (except for the first page cause if I'm gonna post something I need to see the first page--duh.)
• Exercise at least twice a week

"Who knows, here goes..." -Roger and Mimi in "I Should Tell You"

Andrew and I like to open our legs.

Harmony

I don't understand.

I just don't understand. I spend lots of time thinking about why. Perhaps it's just my personality that makes me this way, how I think that everyone should just live in harmony. I know that my ideal world will never come into existence but can people just try a little bit more friendly?

I don't understand when people say they don't like someone they don't even know. Even before you've met them. I'm guilty of this but, I don't proclaim it as a huge problem. Just because someone is not the time of person you would normally hang out with, doesn't been you have to hate them. Maybe this is something I don't understand because I feel like I can be friends with most people. It may be because I try to see the good in people, and now, I also try to see people as their mother would. The first I learned from my mom and the latter I learned from Pam. These two women of great faith will influence how I try to perceive others. There has been so many times where I've met people that I had a bad impression of through others but turn out to really enjoy their company. I no longer want to make the mistake of seeing who someone is through someone else's eyes.

I don't understand when someone can hate so much and call someone "fucking bitch." Why would you go online and do that when you know that they will see it, when you're purpose is for them to see it? It's just going to make matters worse and cause the problem to be endless. I see this on my dashboard way to frequently for my liking.

I am no way saying that I have never done these things. I make mistakes and even though I try to learn from them, I still make the same ones. I wish that you too can see what I hope. I want the world to be happy, the ways a little child dances in the sun.

There are so many things that I don't understand, and those were just a few. I am sadded everytime this happens, or even when someone curses more than I am use to. I absolutely hate it when this happens and my respect for a person is lowered, especially church friend because I expect better from you. Respect may not be the right word, more like my view of someone is not as high as it once was. I get so disappointed. In a way I feel like Holden Caulfield, wanting to remove the writing on the wall, wanting innocence to remain. I am not going to stay a child, so I know I will not be able to see the friendlyness I want in the world. As the years pass, I know I will only encounter more corrruption, and I become distraught for I only want the world live in harmony.

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony." -Thomas Merton

Today I had my very first experience of driving alone! It feels great to finaly get my license. Then during work day my mom went to school to get the GPA holder from the car. She left me a note, how cute! It says:

12:00 PM

Tracey,

We take the base of GPS and go to LA to shop for car. Take care of Travor. Eat and take medicine until we get back.

Mom & Dad

AHhUgh

AHhhhhhhhaiosfjueogjaweoigjheafekajhfodafjodiasfdnfaoigjldadfkx,m vuijkdmfnjeikdnjvhewijdklmnvjf

^My exact feeling right now.

My mom is going to kill me. Dang it it's freakin 6 in the morning and I'm such a damn procrastinator. If there's one thing I hate about myself it's my lack of willpower and self-discipline. I have no control. When will I ever learn. It's been years since that time in elementary school that I turned a book report in a week late. Once she finds out that I didn't complete the scholarship I  was planning to turn in she'll get pissed and never let me do anything anymore, even though she still won't let me do anything anyways. For example, where I'm NOT going to be this weekend.

• Talent Show
• Rayven’s House
• Key to College
• Ally’s Debut
• Youth Mass

Thanks for never letting me out mom. Another weekend to rot in this house.

AJhhhhhhhhhafrieoklmdjioamklfdedjmjnoksdlmfjhiospklnfjioskm damn it why am I such a retard. I hate doing work and I hate filling for scholarships. I know we really need it but I'm such a ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I need to start taking initiative.

Friday January 22, 2010

In N' Out after Estephanie's Harry Potter Themed Surprise Birthday Party

 

Monday January 25, 2010

Stephanie's Actual Birthday, 4th Period

 

Tuesday January 26, 2010

At CVS Before Working on the English Midterm

January 28, 2010

Cracey/Tathy Photoshoot
 

Our Chicago Number to "Roxie"

“Tracey, you inspire me.”
-Kelli, when I told Kevin Tran he was wasting tape. This made my day. =)

My Week in Photos

Saturday, January 9, 2010: I went to Iron Mountain! 6 miles total! I went with Mr and Mrs. Vidakovich, Crystal and her friend, Des, and others. I love going hiking with them, it’s always fun, adventurous, and healthy! We went pretty late but got to see sun setting and hiked back downhill in the dark. Thank God for flashlights!



Monday, January 11: Accidental matching! “This is why we’re friends.”



Tuesday, January 12: St. Vincent de Paul with ASB and then Seaport Village, where we found Mr. Prosser’s shirt, but in size 976789656786578xXL.







Wednesday and Thursday: Out Sick. Threw up Wednesday morning @ 2am, 4am, and 5am. My girlies wore pink and paid homage to dirty elbows though!



Friday, January 15: Not a good day for me at all. Things just sucked the last half of the day. A random girl in the bathroom even asked if I was alright. It’s nice to know people care. Friday was also Superhero Day!



Today I just went to the Confirmation Retreat Meeting where I realized that the retreat was on the same weekend of Vietnamese New Year’s. Uh oh. oh well. Just sucks for me. I’m staying home this weekend in order to work on scholarships yet, but what do you think happened? Yep, I got distracted. I really like getting to post pictures from almost everyday up. Perhaps I’ll get to my goal of blogging my life in photos. Sarah Waldorf anyone?

Roman Holiday

What I spent my afternoon/evening watching. Best Audrey Hepburn movie ever! I can't get over her elegance and the look of the time. Most of all, I can't get that fuzzy feeling of watching a romantic movie out, nor would I want to.

"So happy."