Harmony

I don't understand.

I just don't understand. I spend lots of time thinking about why. Perhaps it's just my personality that makes me this way, how I think that everyone should just live in harmony. I know that my ideal world will never come into existence but can people just try a little bit more friendly?

I don't understand when people say they don't like someone they don't even know. Even before you've met them. I'm guilty of this but, I don't proclaim it as a huge problem. Just because someone is not the time of person you would normally hang out with, doesn't been you have to hate them. Maybe this is something I don't understand because I feel like I can be friends with most people. It may be because I try to see the good in people, and now, I also try to see people as their mother would. The first I learned from my mom and the latter I learned from Pam. These two women of great faith will influence how I try to perceive others. There has been so many times where I've met people that I had a bad impression of through others but turn out to really enjoy their company. I no longer want to make the mistake of seeing who someone is through someone else's eyes.

I don't understand when someone can hate so much and call someone "fucking bitch." Why would you go online and do that when you know that they will see it, when you're purpose is for them to see it? It's just going to make matters worse and cause the problem to be endless. I see this on my dashboard way to frequently for my liking.

I am no way saying that I have never done these things. I make mistakes and even though I try to learn from them, I still make the same ones. I wish that you too can see what I hope. I want the world to be happy, the ways a little child dances in the sun.

There are so many things that I don't understand, and those were just a few. I am sadded everytime this happens, or even when someone curses more than I am use to. I absolutely hate it when this happens and my respect for a person is lowered, especially church friend because I expect better from you. Respect may not be the right word, more like my view of someone is not as high as it once was. I get so disappointed. In a way I feel like Holden Caulfield, wanting to remove the writing on the wall, wanting innocence to remain. I am not going to stay a child, so I know I will not be able to see the friendlyness I want in the world. As the years pass, I know I will only encounter more corrruption, and I become distraught for I only want the world live in harmony.

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony." -Thomas Merton